Skip to main content

Digging Deep

 Let's learn something shall we...

Often times, when people think of therapy, they think of digging down deep into those crevices that many of us know are necessary for us to explore, but none of us really want to explore because we know there is a chance it's going to hurt, bad. 

I think we're often afraid of the truth of our flaws, fears, insecurities, etc. and that if we bring them to light, well, now we have to deal with them. 

When I attended therapy in college, my therapist did some deep digging with me and some big personal family struggles were brought to light for me. Stuff that I really didn't want to dig into, as we did though, I found that I was able to make peace with a lot of them. 

Some of those I am still working on, but there is one area that I never really dove into. Until this last therapy session that I had. 

My therapist gave me an assignment to write a letter. For context, the concept I am currently working on in therapy is breaking down where in my history that I tried to open up to someone and was shut down. I recently had an experience where I had an experience like this again and it really aggravated me. I wanted to ask, "Why am I not worth it?!" After addressing this with my therapist, the 1st assignment was to think back to when I could remember that 1st happening. I narrowed down a timeline and then re-presented it to her. After discussing some, my new assignment was to write a letter as I said above. This letter was to a specific person in my life. A letter that I don't need to share with anyone but my therapist and myself and after it is all said and done I can burn it, rip it up, do whatever I want with it.

That assignment came last Saturday and has been on my mind since. I have been eager to sit down and just write away. Really getting everything down from my earliest memories with the individual and then moving forward from there. Getting all of my feelings out on paper. 

Today I started it and didn't think I would finish it, but as luck would have it, my kids are in the tractor with dad and I had time to finish it. 5 pages, 2863 words of raw emotion. They say that tears are a way of helping the body to release toxins, bring it back to balance. I can attest to that being true. After I finished writing and crying, I honestly felt more peace. 

While nothing is really resolved and I am eager to go over the contents at my next session, I will identify that there are things I recalled that I didn't know were still in my memory. Things that are important to who I am and why I do what I do and say what I say in my relationships with others. 

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, as I stated at the beginning, sometimes, digging deep is hard. The past is an unrelenting terrain at times in which it seems even finding a cool drink of water to refresh ones journey is impossible. However, as we recall the past, address it, work to make sense of it, and then ultimately let it go, we will find ourselves better off mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

What I think I am learning and what I am trying to say is that the past is not something to run from or shut out. The fortunate and unfortunate circumstances have shaped us into who we are today whether we like it or not. So as Rafiki said in the Lion King regarding the past, "You can either run from it, or learn from it." 

For me, I'm learning that I am worth it. Every. Single. Time. Who I am and what I have to offer others is worth it. 

I, am worth it. 

What can you learn from your past? 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why I created Lessons from the Rocking Chair

 This post will be short and sweet, but I wanted to share where the inspiration came from for not only the title, but for the blog itself.  Having two kids now, I have spent a fair amount of time in our rocking chair. Whether that has been rocking them to sleep, nursing, reading, or helping them to calm down after a fall or a frustration has arisen. It has become a haven for not only my children, but myself mentally as I have worked through the struggling nuances of motherhood that are honestly, just a part of the job.  In my rocking chair, I have learned about how to raise my youngest better. I have learned through the books that I have read them, both children's books and books on parenting as well as many books by Mitch Albom, the importance of slowing down and appreciating the life that is going on around me.  My educational background has helped me to open my eyes, as I have contemplated the questions of my soul, to see why my children might behave the way they ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Oops Got Your Coping Skills...

Let's learn something shall we... Coping skills. That is the hot topic on here for the week. Over on IG, I have been focusing on a few different aspects of coping skills. I intend to elaborate on those aspects here.  At the start of the week, I discussed on what coping skills are, why they're important, and introduced that coping skills generally fall into 1 of 5 categories. We'll start by elaborating on those.  To back-track a little, coping skills are "behaviors, thoughts, and emotions that you use to adjust to the changes that occur in your life," (Semel Institute). They are important because they help us to manage when stressors come. Essentially, they help to protect our mental and emotional well-being.  Coping skills can be effective or ineffective. For a coping skill to be considered an ineffective mechanism, it would be applied "often unconsciously," and is "counterproductive," meaning that it's not actually helping you deal with or...
Post a Comment
Read more

Therapy

In society today, therapy is becoming less of a nuance, but it is still something that can be looked down on markedly.  Why?... I don't really know. I mean, there is nothing, Nothing, inherently wrong with taking care of your mental health.  In college, during my time as a psychology student. I had a professor who stated that most people struggle with the things that others go to therapy for. The matter is frequency. Fast forward 1 year, after a car accident, I found myself fitting into this proposed "frequency." I sought help, begrudgingly. After being diagnosed as having situational depression, anxiety, and mild anger, I ironically, found myself angry in regards to the diagnosis.  After working with the therapist though, I ended up working through a lot of junk that I hadn't realized I had really been holding onto. It was only for a couple semesters that I did individual and group therapy, but honestly, it helped a lot.  Fast forward to now. With my oldest, I didn...
Post a Comment
Read more