The Kids Are Asleep, Let's Go!

 Let's learn something shall we...

So, it has been a long minute since I have put up a post of any kind really. Between family visiting, being busy, & in all honesty, & just not really feeling like putting up an effort, here we are. 

On my last post, I talked about utilizing this space here as a "journal" of sorts as I followed through with counseling directions to really navigate the potential "why's" in why I was getting frustrated with my kiddos. 

Obviously, I did very poorly at keeping a record on here. However, I did keep both a mental & external journal on the matter & here is what I have understood so far. 

Burn out... I find that probably 9x out of 10 the reason that I find myself in annoyance or effecting to put distance between myself & the kiddos is because I am burnt out from them. When upon rising & going to bed the main prerogative is them, it gets a little mundane & often leaves me feeling claustrophobic towards them. 

I love my children, but when the need to constantly be touching me or asking me to do every little thing with them, at some point, anyone would want some space of their own as well as their ability to just tap out & not be engaged. 

However, as I've been taking an inventory, here is what I have noticed in my life in the last 2 months though too (before exploring this in counseling as well as after). 

1.) We went through a lot of months of constant sickness. It felt like the kids were constantly getting sick and despite my best efforts, I inevitably would get sick too. This would drive me away from exercising in the morning due to wanting to let my body heal. One week became 2 which became a month, which turned into 2 as well. 6mths of consistent morning exercise & meditation that gave me my time & my space apart from the kiddos out the window. 

2.) Routine broke with my mornings & subsequently broke in other areas of my life too. Things that defined me as me & that I had control over. I stopped meal planning & I had stopped reading the scriptures as consistently as I was. Those engrained parts of me... out the window too.

3.) I stopped taking 5 min breaks (without my phone) during the day when I was getting overstimulated by the kiddos. This practice was helping me so much to reset & feel like I could keep going throughout my day till respite would arrive in the evening in the form of my husband. 

What am I doing about it now after reflecting on all of this?

I have started walking again in the mornings. However, I am choosing to head outside for my walks rather than utilize my elliptical (I'll start on that again when winter hits). This time outside in the morning has been a huge blessing for me. I did it almost everyday last year & when I started again last week, I forgot how much I loved seeing the sunrise every morning.

After I walk I have paused & stretched. Taken some moments to reflect on just my thoughts of my morning & my hopes & goals for the day. This has been a huge helper for me to want to engage with them more & not feel as overburdened with little "me" time.

I have started to meal plan again as well as consistently read my scriptures at about the same time every day. It's not that I had stopped that all together, it just wasn't as high of a priority as I had been making it before & so it wasn't always a set time that both my kids & I could expect like it was prior.

I haven't restarted taking 5 min breaks yet, however, I fully intend to. Instead, I have been really applying the practice of grounding (or Earthing as I just learned it is also known as). 

What is this practice? Thanks for asking, I'll tell you.

Grounding according to verywellmind.com is the practice that allows people to directly connect their bodies with the Earth & use its natural electric charges to stabilize them. This practice involves walking barefoot outdoors or using indoor grounding systems while sleeping or sitting." The whole point is to "restore the connection between the body & the electrical currents of the earth." 

Why did I start doing this? Again, thanks for asking, I'll tell you.

I have been reflecting on my childhood over the last couple of weeks. The main goal has been to seek out a different aspect of what I am working on in therapy, however, I had the realization that I spent most of my summers barefoot. Whether at my house, out camping & at the lake, at my grandparents home, etc. Most of the time I was barefoot. This meant I was walking on all different terrains constantly. Eventually, my feet built up a tolerance to it. 

As I have reflected on that, I have realized a.) how soft my feet have gotten since not doing that anymore, & b.) when I do go outside to hang laundry or things like that barefoot, honestly, I do feel more grounded. I feel centered, whole, & more self-aware. I feel peace. Since starting to do this more my feet are becoming more tolerant when I hit un-soft ground & I have found that when I am getting overstimulated by the kiddos & I choose to go out & do this, even if they come outside with me, I am much more patient with them. 

What can you learn from my observations with my own life? Thanks for asking, I'll tell you.

Nature is healing. Structure, in whatever form you need structure, is balancing. Time to yourself without the phone, kids, work, pets, tv, etc., is a blessing. Even if it's just 5 minutes it's worth taking. 

Chaos, while at times may be fun, is not the state that our bodies & minds are intended to thrive in. There is more growth in slowing down & being intentional with yourself than there is in trying to do all of the things. 

Find your structure, find your time, & find yourself outside, you are worth the time found in each of these things. You are something worth learning about. 

Happy Learning!