The Waiting Place

 Let's learn something shall we...

I'm going to start off with a disclaimer that what I'm about to talk about, I don't necessarily have a prominent solution for. Why? Well I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

"The Waiting Place." In Dr. Seuss's acclaimed children's book, "Oh, The Places You'll Go," he discusses a place called "the waiting place". 

He describes initially, how we can end up in such a place. "You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace & grind on for miles across weirdish wild space headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place..."

He follows by describing "The Waiting Place," as a place where "everyone is just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, [...] waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite, or waiting around for Friday night, [...] or a pot to boil, or a Better Break [...] or Another chance. Everyone is just waiting."

I think that we can too often get stuck in our own "Waiting Places." They might sound a lot like, "If I just had more time I'd learn a 2nd language," "One day I'll muster up the courage to talk to my boss & get that promotion," "Someday I'll enjoy having kids." 

All things that frankly, require a shift in perspective & some motivation. 

I often get stuck in finding the joy in life in the stage I'm in because I'm too busy looking toward the future, instead of the here & now. 

So, what can be done? How do we escape "The Waiting Place?"

I think the 1st step, is recognizing that you are in "The Waiting Place." 

For me personally, I think I've known it for a little while, but couldn't necessarily put a name to it till the thought came to me today. That I'm sitting here & have been sitting here, but haven't been uncomfortable enough to seek change till now. 

A little backstory, I have been in this place before. For 3 years, my husband & I struggled with infertility. I sat in "The Waiting Place," day after day after day. Usually filled with anxiety, confusion, & an overall sense of feeling lost. 

Every negative test, reflecting on all of the things I gave up in order to get my body back into alignment. We/I were just constantly waiting. Concluding that our lives in our marriage would only begin when that little test read "Pregnant." 

I finally hit a point where I couldn't take it anymore. Something had to change & it had to change now. We made the decision that if we couldn't have kids right now, we both knew we could be good parents to other children. We made the decision to foster & chose to dive in head first. 

We/I escaped the waiting place by 1st recognizing we were in it & that for the time being, nothing was going to change unless we changed our focus. 

When we changed our mindset & our focus, we escaped that place & it brought a lot of learning, joy, understanding, & surprisingly, a baby of our own too. 

The 2nd step. Before you can change your mindset & your focus, I think you need to understand why you're ready to leave the waiting place. 

Like Dr. Seuss, I agree that "The Waiting Place," is a most useless place. It is the intersection of hither & yon where we feel comfortable because we know the drill. Why would you want to leave that right? 

 However, as Seuss points out, "That's not for you. Somehow you'll escape all that waiting & staying. You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing." Once you recognize your why of wanting to leave "The Waiting Place," moving forward & taking the steps to leave will be that much more accessible.

The 3rd step, changing your mind & your focus.

Something I have talked about before is the ability to change the way your brain thinks. Our brain is trained to be looking out for threats constantly so as to protect the body. Everything we take in in our surroundings is being processed in our brain to let us know 2 things, that something is safe or that something is dangerous. 

When you go to leave your comfort zone or your waiting place, your brain is going to initially think that where you're headed next is dangerous simply because the outcome is unknown. It's as if it is saying, "Whoa... Hold up. I thought we were good here. We like here. Sure we're not going really anywhere, but at least we're safe. If you go that way, will we still be able to feed our body or keep it clothed? Safety & security are more important than growth." 

You have to train your brain to understand that growth & change, while it can be painful at times, is not always a danger. 

Some ways to do this is to reframe your thinking on growth & change. Telling yourself over & over & over again, that "you can do this. You've got the strength, the courage, (hopefully) the support from others. Everything will be okay because even if you fail, it's not going to be the end of the world."

This step may take some time & that's okay. 

The final step... Leaving "The Waiting Place."

As you continue to work on changing your mind & your focus, pretty soon, you're progression will lead you right out of the waiting place. You honestly might not really realize that you have left. Things will just be different, hopefully better, but definitely different. 

Maybe you'll have achieved your goal of that promotion (you probably will really recognize leaving the waiting place on this one), or enjoying your daily time with your children. 

Whatever your "Waiting Place" looked like, congratulations on leaving it. 

As an added note, you will potentially find yourself in "The Waiting Place," again, for an entirely different reason. However, lucky for you, when you're ready to recognize that's where you're at & that there is something better on the other side, you'll already know the steps on how to leave it. 

As I stated at the beginning, I don't necessarily have a prominent solution for leaving the waiting place. All I know is that these steps are what have helped me to leave "The Waiting Place" before & I truly believe that as I apply them in my own life now & as you apply them in your life, leaving "The Waiting Place," will be that much more possible for you. 

I hope this post helped you in some way. Let me know in the comments below, some strategies you have utilized to leave "The Waiting Place," & what insights you might have gained from this post on personal growth.